Twenty Five Years in the Ministry

Sermon Delivered at All Souls Community Church
Grand Rapids, Michigan November 2, 2008

Copyright © 2008
 


                                                            The Reverend Doctor Brent A. Smith



   Whether a minister or layperson is speaking, it is always in some way about the congregation because the congregation is the vehicle through which we attempt to discern larger, transcendent meanings.

   She was an ex-Catholic, he was an ex-Mormon, they were both Scientologists and I was officiating at their wedding as a student minister in Seattle. Her mother said to me, “I am glad they’re getting married in a church even if it is yours.” I thought to myself that there must be a compliment somewhere in that statement, and although I admitted to myself it was a struggled to figure it out, I was determined to be up to the task!

   The second wedding I ever performed involved a groom who, when we met several times weeks before the service, repeatedly assured his bride and me that he wasn’t nervous, and I didn’t know any better than to believe him. I know better about men now and our willingness to mask our feelings. While repeating his vows he fainted, and I caught him with my left arm. The bride looked at me and asked, “What should we do?” I responded the only way I knew how as a second-time officiant, “I guess we’ll wait for him to wake up,” and a few awkward minutes later he did, finished the vows, and we finished the service.

   I pulled out the ring for one wedding service performed on the deck of a wooded lodge in the Colorado Rockies, and after blessing the ring, extended it out for the groom, and when his hand bumped mine, the bride’s ring fell through the floorboards of the deck. It delayed the wedding for a half an hour as the bride’s little brother slithered under the deck to retrieve the prize. But, we got through it and it was joyous.

   I once preached in an elephant suit because that particular Sunday fell on my wife’s birthday and she loves elephants and I love her. That wasn’t wise as the suit was too heavy, you couldn’t hear a word through the trunk, and one little boy kept pulling on my trunk. It was stupid but sweet to offer that to my wife. I once wrote and preached a sermon made up of rhyming couplets. That was just stupid, though lyrically stupid!

   I have learned that with love and affection we human beings can stumble through and survive anything, from birth to death and all the challenges in-between. I have learned that without love and affection we will justify doing just about anything as right, even to those with whom we share the deepest things.

   By my estimation I have preached over a thousand sermons, performed over a thousand wedding services, a hundred gay and lesbian union services, 2 or 3 hundred Memorial services, and Christened and Dedicated at least that many babies. I have preached to eight in a living room and over a thousand in several sanctuaries, and had one minister tell me you’re not a minister until a congregation chews you up and spits you out. I have been chewed up and spit out by a congregation. I have watched men and women die, my own children born, and had the privilege of being invited into people’s lives to share their most intimate joys and bear with them their heaviest of burdens.

   I have been blessed with a wife who understands the calling I answer, and two children who grew up by enduring its burdens and joys, and having people know more intimate details of their parents’ lives then others should really know. It has all been a blessing and a grace, this life. Thank you for this good life, and forgive me when I do not love it enough.

   I have seen people at their worst and their best, behaving in ways that baffle the mind, doing things that stir the heart, and treating one another in ways that cause the head to shake in disbelief, for woe and weal both!

   In twenty five years in the ministry I have learned that we human beings are an odd lot, suspended as we are between the heavens and the underworld. The same individual can love and respect himself deeply one moment, and inexplicably come to loathe himself the next. A couple can tenderly care for one another one day and say the most hurtful things to one another the next. A congregation can lift up beliefs and ideals that inspire the noblest sacrifices one day, and can be at each others’ throats the next. This, I have learned, that we are an odd lot and sometimes the best thing and only thing is for someone to tell a funny story and pass the food and drink! I remember the words given me by a former congregant being treated for his mental illness, the wisest words of them all: “Persevere!”

   I have learned the most important question in religion is not, “What do I believe?” because the answer to that changes over the years. I have been a Buddhist, atheist, Christian, natural theist, just about every kind of “ist” one can imagine in the twenty-five years of devotion to this life. I have learned I am not an “ist,” but an individual. Beliefs do change, and when they don’t one has stopped growing spiritually. The most important question is not, “What do I believe?” but “What is really going on?” I think that’s the more important question because whatever is really going on is shaping what each of us believes at any moment in our lives.

   The ancient was right in calling faith a matter of unseen things, a matter of discerning what’s really going on. But, it is not a matter of magical unseen things, like believing in the fantasy that creation occurred just a few thousands years ago by a giant’s hand (a hand that didn’t exist for the Notre Dame football team yesterday, I might add), or believing the death of one man, Jesus, magically wiped away a human nature that is evil in its essence. Faith is a matter of the unseen things we help generate or dissolve, things that uphold life or undermine it: love and affection, or rancor, animosity, malice, and hatred born of the hubris that we fallible human beings know certainty and Truth. Generosity of the spirit is a practice that we cannot live out enough and cannot live out in too much abundance. Sadly, stinginess of the spirit is an unfortunate practice that too many take up, especially in religion. Faith is the practice of trust in ourselves, trust towards one another, and trust in the abundance in life itself throughout all the things that really are going on around us, the tragic and the triumphant.

   Today is a great example of this: What is really going on? Anytime any one of our Unitarian Universalist churches recognizes a minister for anything good or ill, the spiritual community is lifting up a deeper question in order to live it out. In our faith tradition and unlike, say the Catholics or Anglicans or Christian Reform, ministry is the province of us all and not just designated “elites.” Our understanding of ministry emanates from the ancient meaning of the word itself, from the Latin meaning servant. “You got to serve somebody,” whined Bob Dylan, and though that is true in one sense, in a deeper sense, through service and ceremony, this day is a time for each of us to reflect upon the proper aim for human service. Other faith traditions may say “the glory of God,” but ours is a more complex discernment as to how in serving other human beings we can serve lofty and nobler aims. To what is our devotion and service aimed?

   Other faith traditions may say the proper aim for devotion and service is right belief and treating others the way those beliefs suppose; holding to correct doctrines founded in the idea that human beings are depraved at birth and need saving. That is a spiritual path, just not our distinctive way. We are founded in the ontological fact of human connectedness. “Know thyself” becomes a way for us to know who we are distinctively as individuals, and collectively as the human family.

   And congregations rooted in relationships as we are, know that human beings are first and foremost fallible. That’s one thing I have learned in twenty-five years. Human nature is fallible, and I will tell you something I have learned about myself in coming to know thyself. I am at the head of the line when it comes to making mistakes and being fallible. The very first time I entered a pulpit as a student minister in Seattle doing a reading and delivering the Welcome in worship in Seattle in 1981, I misread the reading from Genesis, and said, “Adam, by the seat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground from whence you came.” Forceful and with authority I read that. And then, during the Welcome I invited the congregation to volunteer and “man the coffee tables.” After worship a woman rushed up to me and gave me a tongue lashing for using sexist language, instead of using the word “staffing” the coffee tables.

   A few days later the Senior Minister corrected me on the other thing, telling me he waited a few days because he knew how nervous all of us are who get up in front of others, especially for the first time. We expose who we are every week, he said, and that is a vulnerability we are trying to communicate to others is necessary for authentic love. But, it was not the “seat of Adam’s brow,” but the “sweat of Adam’s brow” and advised me to proof read my text before putting someone’s rear-end on their forehead! That was good advice.

   Both were right. I had made mistakes. But I think what generates trust is to presume all ministers, like all people, are going to make mistakes. How one responds to human fallibility, their own and others, answers the question, “What is really going on?” What’s really going on is our fallibility.

   Other faith traditions may claim there are absolute right and wrong ways to believe, unconditional right and wrong choices to make, supreme right and wrong ways to behave, and that knowing what is right and wrong is the single most important spiritual value. That is a spiritual path, just not our distinctive way. You can know some things that are right and wrong, but rarely if ever absolutely and unconditionally. Both the minister and the congregant were right about different mistakes I had made. Both were right again in coming to me directly to address them. But, in our faith tradition being right or wrong is not the measure of the temporal or eternal value of a human being. What is really going on in our congregations, as in all times in all of our lives, is about trust. What do we say and how do we say it so that it generates trust? What behaviors generate and thwart trust. Again, both were right and right in coming directly to me. I was wrong, but being right in spiritual belief is not enough, we declare, because there are so many times in our lives when we are not right and ultimately we can never really know for sure. Only one response to my mistake fixed AND generated trust. The other just corrected.

   I have learned this is the discipline of our spiritual path. To shape our lives towards holding and living what generates trust. To treat others such that we become worthy of their trust, and to expand that circle. Knowing we all are fallible and seeking to be honest and direct with one another in all we do. It is the basis of bonds of love, of a respectful affection deeper than whether I like someone or not. I can tell you there have been plenty of people in the congregations I have served that didn’t like me, and I’ll let you in on a secret about you. Everyone doesn’t like everyone else here either. We do not congregate in a spiritual community because we are like-minded people, because we like everyone here, unless we are no more than a fraternity or sorority or a social club. To be a congregation in our faith tradition requires a discipline of cultivating trust as the measure of walking together. To become worthy of another’s respect, not to shrink down the number of people in our circle of fellowship until it is composed only of those whom we like.

   Our congregations aren’t successful because they have perfected the right and correct beliefs about existence because our congregations aren’t formed by like-mindedness, even if they are sometimes composed of individuals who think everybody here agrees with them. I have learned that when it comes to religion, the Unitarian Christian in the pew thinks I am an atheist, and the atheist in the pew thinks I am an orthodox Christian. Neither is correct. I am an individual. I have learned that the Democrats in the pew think I support their candidate, and the Republicans in the pew think I have voted for theirs. Neither is true. I am an individual.

   Our congregations are successful embodiments of our generous and broadminded ways because they are formed by like-hearted people. “We do not have to believe alike to love alike,” is how one of our forebears put it. Deep in their heart the people of our congregations are called to hold that the purpose of having a church like ours is second only to their children as the most important legacy they leave behind. Not to believe alike, but to seek a connection deeper than our human differences and our all too human mistakes; deeper than our likes and dislikes, because tastes and needs change. To become worthy of another’s trust, to generate trust, and to create a community which proclaims this as the highest aim of the human life, as a legacy second only in importance to children.

   So, what’s really going on? What is it that you individually are serving, and what are you serving as a congregation together? Believe me, this past week, I have asked myself over and over the question of what I serve, which anniversaries like this occasion in us even if the question is well hidden other days. I would invite you to use my personal anniversary for yourself and your congregation, to ponder what it is you serve and how you measure your practice of it. And I would encourage you to talk about that amongst yourselves, but not with those whom you like, because you will be simply serving self-interest and religion today is too much about worshipping personal opinion and belief and like and need, as a god. Talk about that with those with whom you are aiming to walk with. When we plant congregations or pecan trees, we do so as Howard Thurman pointed out, not necessarily so that we reap the benefits of the fruit we plant but because it is part of the practice of having faith in life.

   Because, frankly, there is so much of modern life that argues against having faith in life, whether through planting trees or congregations devoted to freedom. There is anxiety all around us, and which one of us here does not feel that. My job, your job, could vanish tomorrow as retirements and homes values. I know that. I think you do, too. All in this life is fleeting all the time, but it seems particularly apparent right now. I can tell you personally I was reminded yesterday what is fleeting and what lasts when a family member far away was diagnosed with cancer, as I was in the 1980’s in the middle of serving the first Unitarian church where I was called as the minister.

   And there is fear, always, but again more apparent now than other times. This culture’s fear of tomorrow is just below the surface, and can be easily agitated when you ask yourself if you think Obama and McCain are frightened? You bet there are, each frightened that he will win, more than that he would lose! That’s deep fear, when you fear what you are striving for.

   But our spiritual life calls us to something larger than anxiety or fear. Many religions cultivate fear and anxiety as a way to reveal Truth and what it is that is correct to believe in. Many religions see fear and anxiety as the path to faith. For us, I think, fear and anxiety are real, and not to be ignored or denied. Yet, they are the opposite of faith because they will never generate trust. Faith in life amid fear and anxiety. Trust in oneself and others, even knowing we are fallible and make small and huge mistakes. Trust in life amid fear and anxiety. All that I have learned from study and from others, has not made me an expert in who I am or what we human beings are. I tried to resist becoming an expert, and tried my best to cultivate the knowledge that we cannot know all things absolutely, no Truth completely, and can never be right and correct in all seasons. I have tried to resist seeing that as a spiritual virtue, and instead sought to cultivate the liberation of the spirit and a trust in life. Our knowledge serves to keep the mind free, the beginner’s mind, where there are all possibilities, and especially, in all times and places and persons, the possibility of love.

   And in this you, as my other congregations have been, are my greatest teachers. You remind me of this Divine aim every Sunday when one of you stands up, lights the Chalice as a symbol of human devotion and sacrifice to the free spirit, and recites for me and you to hear and ponder:

We light this Chalice to remember a truth,
Consecrated through the ages by the service and sacrifice
Of individuals and communities:
There abides a unity and freedom of the Spirit,
Expressed through a love for all souls.


AMEN.